Birthdays

Woke up this morning and got hit by another birthday. I made it another year. I scraped by. Seems like one year is like the next and the next. I feel like I lost something over the past two years. It could be patience or it could be some part of my OCD self. I used to be so organized, neat, do things the right way. Now my brain seems to no longer register things, i forget stuff, i rush through things, i have a sense of unsureness I've never had before. Very weird....Am I gonna grow old and forget stuff I need to always remember? Am I gonna forget my dad's voice? That scares me the most. What am I gonna do about my mom? Soooo many thoughts, same heavy thoughts with me every single day. I feel this weight on my shoulders. I cannot relax or enjoy myself. What am i gonna do?


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